And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
