is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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