You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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