I am puke
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
