I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
