Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
