I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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