Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
