it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
