i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
