last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
