um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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