She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
