drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
