i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
