after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
