It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
