Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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