He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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