its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
