what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
