i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
