Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
