ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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