When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
