Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
