windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
