that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
