ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
