Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you win again, gameday.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
