i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
