so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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