before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
