She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
