so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
