I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
