i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
that is very illegal...i love you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
