That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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