mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
