i already hear my dad disowning me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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