with your own penis?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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