I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You've changed since you got that strap on
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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