Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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