I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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