Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
