Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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