My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
