wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
