Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think my mom watched the whole time
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
