The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
