Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
