you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
