Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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