I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
