who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
