how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
